Tonight…

Special treat for our LA area customers! The first 20 to rsvp to assntittieslovescultist@live.com will receive complimentary entrance to Ass N Titties Presents: DJ Funk & DJ Sega at the Echoplex tonight!!! Guess what? Diplo’s also been added to the bill. So hurry and RSVP! the first 20 will receive a confirmation email with all the info you need. Sorry but this one is only for the ladies only, here’s some more info on the event…

Friday Feb 29.
Ass & Titties and the echo present:
I LOVE BOOTY TOO!!!
*ghettotech*bmore club*miami bass*juke*XXX hip hop*

featuring

JUST ADDED!!!
DIPLO
(Mad Decent)

DJ FUNK

(Dancemania - Chicago)
What words can describe the one and only DJ Funk? Pioneer? Party Rocker? Ghetto House icon? DJ Funk grew up on the musically rich West Side of Chicago where he was exposed at an early age to Chicago, New York, and Detroit dance music. Mixing House, Techno and Hip-Hop, DJ Funk pioneered the “Ghetto House” sound and this sense of crossing boundaries has made his music so appealing and enduring to many people across different music scenes. DJing professionally for over a decade, DJ Funk has produced anthem after anthem of bouncing “Ass & Titty” dance music for his very own record company, Dancemania Records. Funk’s remix resumé reads like the who’s who of dance music: Basement Jaxx, Justice, DJ Sneak, and Fast Eddie just to name a few. With his remix of Justice’s indie-club hit “Water’s of Nazareth” a whole new generation of fans are finding out what DJ Funk is all about…

with special guest
DJ SEGA
(Maddecent/Ol Head - Philly)
“The Black Knight” DJ Sega, is the master of the Philly Club or “Party Music” sound. The baby faced assassin has spent the last few years providing the backbeat for an entire generation of youngsters who come to worship his hundreds of remixes every weekend at Jamz Roller Rink in North Philadelphia. Now the secret is out, and the rest of the world is taking notice. He’s currently making waves with his heavy metal remix stylings as heard on the Hollertronix 8 ep on Diplo’s Mad Decent label. Also on tap are releases on his own Ol’ Head Records imprint from Baltimore rapper Mz Streamz, and New Jersey based production outfit, Brick Bandits, of which he is also a member. His ultimate goal is to save hip hop, one remix at a time.

with DJ’s
Dark Alley (Ass & Titties)
Blu Jemz (Money Studies)
Pube$ (Dance Right)

@
the echoplex
Enter thru alley at 1154 Glendale Blvd between Park & Scott Avenues
18+ 9pm - late!
$10 presale - $15 at door
tix available @ www.ticketweb.com and turntable lab LA store
This will sell out. Buy tickets in advance.
RSVP for $10 reduced cover: assntitties4evr@gmail.com
sponsored by:
OBEY
Turntable Lab
Mad Decent
Ol’ Head
the echo
The Arab Parrot
Han Cholo

Available Now:

I hate young hipster wannabe kids soooooo much. Everytime I see one of those fuckin girls in those hot short pants that come up under their bird seed size titties that show half of their ass and those stupid thin headbands that they put on their heads like they are goin to work out I just want to beat the shit out of them. They make me never want to go to festivals and concerts again. I dread thinking how many of them will be there at Coachella. I’m almost thinking not to go. It might be because they are skinny, but I doubt it. I think it’s just a genuine hate I have for their posershitballbreathasses.

Anywho one day soon I will be walking around Coachella with pasties on my nips, a g-string, and cowboy boots. Y’all don’t know me … pilates and that 8-ball I just bought is gonna set my ass straight. Fuck food … who needs it … not me. Taco bell, Chipotle, El Compadre, El Coyote, Alejandros, Burrito king, Del taco, Marias Tinta Pinta, Vamos a la playa, cinco dollares para ti, mucho bien trabajo por que no mas escuela, donde esta comida NO no mas para mi … it’s over. I’m giving you up. I’m shrinking down these coconuts and I’m trading them in for the California raisin.

L-Word recap. I don’t know what’s wrong with me guys, but I am starting to like Tina. Weird I know, but I think she did a really good job playing drunko and I like how she has control over the Bette and Tina situation. Too bad she doesn’t have control over Bette’s barf nugget grandma hair, but hopefully that will come with time. Speaking of California Raisins, I’ve been noticing something that has started to bother me … observe when Shane gets ass and see how she always does this weird thing where she tries to not touch the person while they are making out. It’s almost like a weird African dance. She kisses them and then weirdly contorts her body to have the ugliest slouch and has her arms up in the air behind her as if she will get burned by touching the person’s body. I know she is trying to play this sexy “I’m not goin to touch you but then I cant help it, but then my nipples are too small, oh no my arms are up again, I look like a retard, but I cant touch you, ok fine” freak ass game, but it’s getting old. Next .. I’ll prob get shit for this but during that party scene how did Marlee Matalin hear the music? Obviously I know she didn’t, but how did she dance so on beat. Does she watch everyone else and go by their beat or I’m just lost. Don’t yell at me it’s just a question.

Lastly … Jenny oh god how I hate you. Oh how I want to bash your face in with this disgusting chair that I’m sittin on that looks like it has cum stains everywhere but they are too cheap in this office to buy new equipment and give it to their freelancers while I stare into a computer monitor from 1983. Jenny got ass this past episode people. And she was so embarrassing to watch. One point in particular I’d like to talk about. When her and the new girl go into the closet and the new girl pulls Jenny towards her by her jeans. Then Jenny had all her hair in her face and when the new girl pushes her hair out the way Jenny had this retarded ass look on her face like either she needed to take a shit or cry because she was thinking about those Jewish circus episodes from 2 seasons back or that she hooked up with Max for a long time. Anyways if you didn’t know, I hate her.

Jenny’s look at 6:45 (I just watched it again and I think I exaggerated a bit but just go with it)

Jamsheeds DOITDOIT of the day: Throw a Disney song karaoke party. Only Disney songs. Only at night. Only with booze. Only!

Used my lightning bolt and bad photography to ward off enemies. Here is the recap, a day late and a few thousand dollars short (sorry Valentine’s Day early AM craps crew):

Road tripped with Scott, stopped for healthy snacks and weaponry.

Stopped by to see the ladies of DimePiece, new stuff is super adorable just like they are.

Ms. Mariel from Sneaktip.

Sneaktip sneakpeek.

Jive booth.

Moustache McGee.

Please look at Scott’s face.

Gabriella from MAMA, AKA the cutest human being alive.

MAMA x Adidas, no big.

Manicures by MISS Crew

Jennifer from Worship Worthy

Crook.

Andrew from 3Sixteen.

Fubz and Chaseties.

The many stickers of REBEL8

Joshy D. has more tattoos than you.

Mighty.

Ivy: “Come in Dark Wolf, it’s me, Night Panda.”

Scotty is in here somewhere.

Knights of Rosewood (Bobby you can put that on a t-shirt, no charge this time).

Arab Parrot and Lashie Tights. Check out Reza’s amazing fashion coverage HERE.

Lanie and Bam of Hellz Bellz

Redheads are witches. Jared of Nylon.

aMAYzing.

The mice come to play.

Camp Beverly Hills cuties. Keep an eye out for new CBH stuff on the site soon.

Roxy Cottontail and unidentified flourescent companion.

Extreme Garcia.

Adorable April.

My beautiful stylist and soon to be Cultist fashion blogger Marina.

Push It To The Limit: Blu Jemz and Unemployed Lloyd (thanks for losing my key dude).

Max Glazer. Shabba.

Here comes Oxy Cottontail…

Cultist x Boobs. Collabo!

Jed Kane. The best.

Kareem Black.

Matt “Calm and Relaxed” Goias.

Brooke and the MILF.

Jackson Swinton.

The beautiful Jennifer and Gaby of Worship Worthy.

Friends.

Ron from UBIQ and friend.

Nick from King Stampede.

Twin A and On-The-Go Ari.

CLAW I’m coming to your bachelorette.

PROJECT:

Arsen (Kendo, Hall of Fame) LOVES Magic.

So does Hanni.

SLB and Keith “High Roller” Hufnagel.

Nao has great hair. Mega hates cameras. HUF set.

Ashley wants to be your Valentine.

This was the best part of the whole trip. On Valentine’s Day, these dudes singing Otis Redding songs while cute old couple slow danced.

Final Tally: Wizards: 28, Warlocks: 54, Trolls: 43, Streetwear: 0

Cultistshop.com, Camp Beverly Hills, Missbehave Magazine, Worship Worthy, and Nitro:licious…

Invite you to celebrate DUMB MAGIC PARTY

DJ Max Glazer
(Federation Sound - Brooklyn, New York)

DJ Blu Jemz & Unemployed Lloyd
(Push It To The Limit Crew)

Heartsrevolution
(DJ Set)

Live Performance By URB Magazine Covergirl…

Roxy Cottontail

Hosted By

Jackson Swinton
Oxy Cottontail
Lax Murda
Astrid

Wednesday February 13, 2008
@ CatHouse
Inside the Luxor Hotel & Casino
10pm

If you live in Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Idaho, Illinois, Kansas, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Missouri, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Utah

GO VOTE.